Measure your relationships according to your values. Never devalue yourself to connect with someone of differing values. Doing so disconnects us with ourselves and leads us to feeling insecure through a loss of our identity and authenticity. It’s destructive to our personal, professional, and spiritual lives. It’s mentally and emotionally damaging.
When deciphering who to surround yourself with consider your values. Do you value honesty, trust, respect, and accountability? If so, spending time with those who don’t share similar values automatically belittles our character and stunts our growth in all areas of life. Every day we consciously and unconsciously align our worth and value with what we absorb from our environment and those in it.
What kind of impact do the people you watch, listen to, work with, or hang out with have on the way you think and behave? Do they propel you forward or hold you back? Are they life giving or life sucking? Do they leave you feeling drained, exhausted, guilty, fearful, powerless, or ashamed? Or do the people closest to you leave you feeling encouraged, empowered, rejuvenated, and inspired to become a better version of you? Those are the people we should be devoting the most time, energy, and attention towards.
I'm not suggesting cutting people out of our lives left and right if they don’t meet your every criteria (none of us do and we all have not so stellar moments). However, we should strive to build a community of people that share the same values and outlook on life that we do. Choose to spend your time with people of good character. Choose to pour your energy into those who empower and lift one another up. Choose to give attention to matters that matter. Hint: Supporting, giving back, helping, empowering others, as opposed to gossiping, shaming, tearing others down, and comparing.
Set high standards for what you will expose yourself to. Identify your values and live by them. Character growth leads to personal growth and personal growth allows you to live into your potential. Wise people choose their people wisely.